


Dear My Ideal Audience

by Alixtii



Category: Fandom RPF, Firefly, Firefly RPF, Jossverse RPF, Real Person Fiction, Serenity (2005), The R. Tam Sessions
Genre: 100-1000 Words, Comment Fic, Desire, Experimental, Female Protagonist, Femslash, First Kiss, Fourth Wall Breakage, Joss Whedon invented this in his mind, Masturbation, Multi, POV First Person, POV Male Character, POV Second Person, POV Third Person, Podfic Available, Present Tense, Skirt, Telepathy, Threesome - F/F/M, Unreliable Narrator, metafic, pantheistic multiperson solipsism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-01-24
Updated: 2006-01-24
Packaged: 2017-10-02 14:01:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alixtii/pseuds/Alixtii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joss Whedon works on a creative writing exercise while working on <i>Wonder Woman</i>, but soon his characters take on a life of their own.</p><p>Also available as a <a href="http://audiofic.jinjurly.com/dear-my-ideal-audienc"><img/>podfic</a>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dear My Ideal Audience

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ari](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Ari).



> Okay, a little context might help with this: this was written for a "Write Me Letters From Fictional[ized] People" meme [at Wisdomeagle's LJ](http://wisdomeagle.livejournal.com/638404.html). She and I had previously discussed the ways in which she considered herself Joss Whedon's ideal audience, and so this fic was born.

Dear My Ideal Audience,

I feel stupid doing this. I really should be working on my _Wonder Woman_ script, and here I am doing this stupid writing exercise, as if I were still in a creative writing workshop back in Wesleyan. But I'm blocked—hideous word, I don't think I've been blocked since '94—and if I don't finish this I can't do _Goners_, and then I won't be able to do more _Firefly_, and that'd be bad.

Okay, so I'm supposed to visualize you. My ideal audience for _Wonder Women_, existing like a Platonic form in your Platonic heaven. The studios say you are males ages 18-25 which is why we should put Diana in a tight-fitting outfit that shows a lot of skin, but screw the studios. I don't want to visualize any guy unless he looks like Alexis, and there's only one guy who looks like Alexis. Well, two if you count Wesley, but I don’t think Wesley would like _Wonder Woman_ very much. He’d be all snotty and British. Alexis might, though.

Besides, I always did better in the female demographic with _Buffy_, and _Wonder Woman_ is more like that—you know, female empowerment and all that jazz. So you’re female, Ideal Audience. And young, between 18 and 25. Do you mind if I visualize you in a skirt?

I think River is mad at me.

Okay, I really didn't mean to type that. It's true, though. And I don't mean Summer—Summer's a dear, like always. But River—

Okay, deep sigh. No one's going to read this. I can say this, even if it does sound crazy.

I think River is mad at me. I think she's figured out that I exist, that I dreamt her up, and she blames me for—you know. What was done to her. What I did to her. _Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani_, you know?

I don't know what she wants from me.

_I want to be a girl. Was made out of tin, to dance on a screen. Need to be given a heart._

(This is her revenge. I made her insane, and now she is making _me_ insane. Poetic justice, I suppose.)

Okay, River, you win. I give you a heart. I made you saner, remember? In the movie? On Miranda?

_It's not enough. It's never enough._

Okay, let's see. _Serenity_ runs into, erm, aliens? Aliens with advanced technology. They unstrip your amygdala and you become better and you live happily ever after and have a lot of sex with Simon and Mal.

_You don't believe it. You have to believe it. Besides, Kaylee’s prettier._

You’re right. But . . . I can't, River. It's too easy, too soon. I make you sane, your arc is over. There’d be no story.

_You’re right. Narrative logic traps you in a box. You can't help me. Only she can.._

She? Who? Wait, you mean _her_? The Ideal Audience?

_You deal with one reality, immutable. She creates hundreds._

What?

_She deals with possibilities. They are fluid, mutable. She can make it happen. They think she can’t, that it can’t be done, and then she does it. They wonder how._

Erm, okay.

_You know how the magic works, Joss. She heals me with a kiss._

Okay. Well. You still there, Ideal Audience? This is a letter to you.

Okay, so you take River in your arms, tentatively at first, because you don’t want to hurt her or scare her. You bring your lips to hers and you kiss, chastely at first. But then River opens her mouth, and you opens yours, and your tongues explore each others' mouths, and you’re connected. You’re a part of her, because she’s a Reader, and she’s a part of you, because you deal with possibility (whatever that means), and you're one flesh, and then there’s nothing there but _desire_.

(My hand slips into my pants. You're a part of me, too.)

And then—

_You have a dirty mind, Joss._

You're welcome.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find an audiofic version of this fic, read by me, [at the Audiofic Archive](http://audiofic.jinjurly.com/dear-my-ideal-audience/).
> 
>   
> [5+ LJ Comments](http://wisdomeagle.livejournal.com/638404.html?thread=3086020#t3086020)


End file.
